The month of May starts the busy wedding season that continues through summer and ends in mid November. However, this year has been unlike anything we have experienced before. Due to Covid-19, not only couples planning their weddings but also the rest of the world has had to alter their lives and accept a new reality. With large gatherings being banned and public health emergencies announced almost in each state, couples who were planning to get married have been forced to make a difficult decision to either cancel or postpone their weddings.
Are you considering postponing your wedding? Here are real couples I have been working with who decided to share their stories and show how Covid-19 has affected their wedding , as well as share some great advice.
Victoria and Adam were looking for a rustic, wedding venue with a beautiful outdoor ceremony setting. They picked Johnson’s Locust Hall Farm in NJ. Since Adam is a teacher and a football and lacrosse coach, a summer wedding was the only option for this couple. They chose June 20th, 2020 as their date.
“As the situation kept escalating, we knew it was going to impact our wedding, it just wasn’t immediately clear how. […] Eventually, we decided to postpone our wedding till next year,” they said. [..]“We still don’t know exactly how things will be on June 20th, but given where we are today with current restrictions & the reality of the pandemic, it seemed unlikely that we would be able to have the wedding we envisioned keeping that date – we didn’t want to cut the guest list last minute, have guests 6 feet apart or wearing masks, to name a few. Many of our guests are traveling from out-of-state as well, so we wanted to be considerate of their travel plans and finances and make the call sooner rather than later. There was also the factor of knowing that many other couples are in the same position, so we didn’t want to miss out on a June date next year.”
“Emotionally, the experience has been a roller coaster- lots of tears shed & it’s been disappointing that the day we’ve been looking forward to for a year & a half, won’t be what we expected,” they shared. “However, there’s also a relief in having made a decision and knowing that postponing will allow us to celebrate freely and openly with all of our friends and family. The logistics of postponing though have been surprisingly easy! I am so grateful for all of our vendors! This is truly a dream team. Every single one has been so understanding and helpful. We have been able to keep all of our vendors and transfer deposits made to our new date. We’re all in this together!”
“…[And we] just made our appointment for our marriage license! […] If we can’t have our immediate family & bridal party in person, we’re thinking about doing a video chat so they can still see us getting married.”
The couple continues, “Our awesome invitation designer & stationer, Caitlin Spaulding, created a digital postponement notice in the same style of our invitations. We sent the postponement notice via email to those that had already responded as well as posted it on our wedding website.”
Their final tip of advice: “This is unprecedented and your feelings are valid. Work closely with your vendors and understand that this is a challenging time for them as well. Think about how you can help support your vendors during this time, if you’re able to, as for many of them, weddings are a core part of their business. […] This is an uncharted territory for everyone, & it helps to work together to make the best of the situation.”
Stephanie and Jorge fell in love with charming Blooming Hill Farms in upstate NY, and chose May 30th as their wedding day. They both love Spring and as Jorge said, “Flowers are blooming, the weather is warming up and there is joy in the air.”
The couple shared, “At first, we honestly thought everything was going to blow over. But when we started hearing about large gathering being banned in other cities and states, we started to get nervous. […] Deciding to postpone our wedding was not an easy decision but it was not a difficult one either. These are unique circumstances we’re living in – and we didn’t want to put anyone at risk, nor feel like anyone had to be pressured to attend our special day given the current reality.”
“All of our vendors were extremely kind and accommodating when we decided to reschedule. Some of them, including Monika, actually reached out to us BEFOREHAND to let us know that if we DID decide to reschedule our wedding, they’d be behind us 100%. That was such a relief .[…]. They made this process so easy that it definitely soothed the pain of having to reschedule. Monika even sent us the sweetest video after we texted her inquiring about postponing. She, our DJ, and our wedding coordinator at Blooming Hill really lifted us up and made what could have been an extremely tough process much smoother” they said.
“We reached out to some of our closer family and friends through text but also sent out a ‘postponement’ email to the rest of our guests (See below! We used one of the photos from our engagement shoot.) They all agreed that it was the right call.”
Steph and Jorge’s final words of wisdom: “[…] You’ve planned this for a while now; some of you, potentially for years. When you think about tomorrow, what do you see? If you’re like us, you probably see a lot of uncertainty — especially during these times. One thing is clear, though, you have someone to share that little bubble of your life with now. […] Regardless of whether or not you’re getting married next week, or in the next few months, you’ve already made the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone. That’s so special and something you should smile about always. […] If you are able to push your special day back, it’s entirely possible you might be able to celebrate in a world reminiscent of the one we lived in a few months ago. There’s no guarantee, of course, but things are starting to look better […] We’ll have made it through these times, apart but together. We’re social creatures, after all. That’s why marriage is the celebratory institution that it is. You found your partner for life, so waiting a bit longer to celebrate is okay. Everything will be okay. We’ll be okay. And someday soon you’ll get to have that celebration you’ve been dreaming of since the moment you two decided to get married!”
Gina and Frank chose October 23rd for their wedding day because they love the Fall. They both wanted their wedding to take place in NY and it was important to them to find a venue that could accommodate close to 300 guests and allow for more of a floating cocktail hour vibe reception. They ended up choosing The Liberty Warehouse in Brooklyn.
The couple shares, “The current situation is definitely making us nervous – but at this time we feel that it is too early to make any decisions – so we’re still full steam ahead with the planning. And crossing ALL of our fingers!” They continue, “We also feel that if the venue has to operate at a lower capacity (we have to cut our guest list in half) then we would rather do that, than move the entire wedding.”
“If it is a matter of operating at a lower capacity – we may be able to work with that. However if it is no more than 50 people, then it is not the wedding that we have planned – nor want. In that case, I think we would still get married, and then just do a celebration at the venue as a vow renewal once this all blows over,” the couple says.
“At the end of the day everyone’s health and safety is most important – so try and focus on that”, they encourage. “Of course, that is easier said than done, it is extremely stressful, especially for those that have already had to postpone/cancel their wedding – there is so much unknown and as the weeks go on with no concrete answer to what is going on it creates more and more anxiety. We’re trying not to focus on things out of our control, and keep in mind that this is affecting everyone […]. We will continue planning the wedding and our life and reassess as more information is provided. And if we have to postpone, then when we finally do get to celebrate the way we want to – people are going to be that much more excited to be there, stress free.”
Thank you to Victoria, Adam, Stephanie, Jorge, Gina and Frank for taking your time and sharing your thoughts.
Are you considering postponing your wedding? If you are I hope this article will help you a little bit this process. And if there is anything I can help you with please reach out.
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